Today I will:
walk around town
take pictures
get dishes cleaned
wash some laundry
make a grocery list
breathe
I bought some studio type lights today. I should get them next week. They are not the best out there, but they were the best I could afford. I have some portraits coming up:
1. engagement portraits for sisters sister in law
2. maternity shoot
3. Mr. L's cousins Family (actually 5 families in one)
4. my own family
5. wedding in april
I need the practice. I am excited to possibly start making a few bucks with this hobby. It will take a while before a profit is made since I am still investing in equipment and still not real good at the portraits yet.
My cousin is opening her own salon and wants some of my photos as display (and to sell). I am slowly putting myself out there. That is tough for me. I hate promoting myself, I feel like it makes me sound cocky. Need to get over that.
Today's grateful things:
1. I did something silly today and it made Mr. L laugh and smile all the way to the car when he left for work. That made me feel giddy.
2. the sunshine, it is supposed to be 64 today! Nice!
3. It does not feel like such a strain to smile today, the last few weeks my cheeks felt like they were weights and it makes it so hard to smile.
4. the colors of autumn
5. miss Luna who woke me with her little dance on my shoulder and sweet little mews
I looked down one side of the sidewalk, then down the other, and went where there were leaves to be crunched under my feet. This was how I made all my direction choices all through town. My head was swirling with what I should have said, if it would have even be heard, thinking of hurtful things said and done. I was not in an awesome place, but I was working it out in my head like I try to do. Talking about it out loud seems to inflame it more, to write about it and ponder it feels safer. I feel like it does not give it the power it needs, it stays quiet and manageable.
Crunching tiny yellow japanese maple eaves under my shoes I noticed someone already had thanksgiving decorations up on the house. One large sign read "Count Your Blessings!" with a very goofy turkey staring me in the eye. I thought "okay Turkey, I will try and switch my train of thought, because I DO have plenty of blessings to count". As I walked another festive home had a thanksgiving flag that read "Be Thankful". By this time my thoughts had grown dark again. I was feeling lonely and wanted to only take pictures of solitude and I was finding none. I Began to think of things I was thankful for, instead of the things I was not grateful for. The sky started turning dark, it was going to rain soon. I started back home.
While I walked I thought how I have lost a little bit of my appetite for photography, lost a little bit of my inspiration. Then when I was almost home, my cell rang, it was designer and he was checking on what color scarf and gloves I wanted. I was happy to hear they would be coming soon. Then when I entered my house I sat at the computer with a cup of hot apple cider and read my emails. My cousin is opening a salon and she wants to sell some of my photos there, and also wants them on her walls. ;-) Love when the universe gives me the nudge to keep going. After chatting with cousin on the phone, I decided to just take a gander at a few blogs that make me smile, like ICHC or Cuteoverload and This one, and what should I find but a photo of a tiny book that you are to list your grateful things in. ;-)
I am grateful for:
*sunshine in the fall
*fresh hot apple cider
*soft bath robe
*hot showers
*homemade leftover split pea soup
*Mr. L
*the kittehs and turtle girl
*silence
*reality (when confronted with one who lives in a world that is not true, reality is good)
*laughter
*art
*tuesdays
*colors
*naps
*people who are willing to listen without analyzing
*goats (yes goats)
*apple fritters
*today
I'd heard about Women for Women International a few times while watching Oprah and had felt drawn to the organization. Then last month when Lisa Shannon was a guest on Oprah, again talking about WfWI I decided that that was it, I was going to become a sponsor. That night I got online, signed up for my commitment to send money each month to my new sister (that I asked to be randomly assigned to) and agreed to start writing letters too.
Shannon lives in Portland and writes, speaks and raises money for women in the Congo through WfWI and as luck would have it the fabulous Food Fight (our local vegan grocery store here in PDX) and their Let Live series had invited her to speak. Not so lucky was my household coming down with swine flu (don't even get me started about the irony and unfairness of my 2 out of 3 veg home having pig flu!) so I didn't get to attend, but Food Fight recorded it and put it up on their site! Worth the time to watch here is the link to last Sunday's talk:
http://foodfightgrocery.com/index.php/2009/10/27/change-one-mile-at-a-time-lisa-shannon-and-the-run-for-congo-women/
In the video Shannon explains where my $27 monthly donation goes:
*$10 to spend
*$5 to save
*$12 for training on nutrition, family planning, literacy and much more
What motivated me to be a part of this? I really care about our world and I have the means to share. I feel so blessed and lucky to do so. I spend almost $27 a month on my gym membership and now I will be matching that to give to a person in need, how awesome is that? And there's more! I really believe that for myself working on kindness and connection with the people I see everywhere I go, looking people in the eyes, speaking to people and treating people the way I want to be treated is what changes the world; brings out the best in all. The basics of love. Being love. And spreading love.
Thank you to Women for Women International!
As Peter Schrag recounts in California: America's High Stakes Experiment, the California dream has always had its dark side — from the discrimination against the Chinese in the late nineteenth century to the "battering" the Okies took during the Depression to the "push-pull-love-hate relationship with Mexicans." What is distinctive about the present situation, however, is that the dark side of the California dream encompasses population groups that will soon make up the majority of its citizens.
Sharp ethnic and racial divides of this kind don't necessarily undermine an economy. On the contrary, California's success in agriculture was based on cheap immigrant labor. But it's a recipe for social and political unrest — and even riot and rebellion. And it's a betrayal of the American, as well as the California, dream. That's something California's government will need to address, but there's the question of whether it is capable of doing so.
If you haven't read this op-ed in The New Republic, I highly suggest you drop everything to do so right now.
This is a list that is going around. Looks like I have some eating to do!
1. Fries with spicy tofu sauce at Dots- Y
2. $1 Corndog from Hungry Tiger Too- N
3. Chick-o-Stick doughnut from Voodoo Doughnuts- Y
4. Tiramisu from Portobello- Y
5. Vegan Mulita from Gorditos or Gorditos II- N
6. Nanotear Ham and Cheeze sandwich from Tube- N
7. Milkshake from Sip- Y
8. Gnocchi from Portobello- Y
9. Caramel Nut Bar from Sweetpea Baking Co.- N
10. Soft serve from Blossoming Lotus- Y
11. Local cherry tomatoes from a farmers market- N
12. Dong Po Tofu from Bay Leaf- Been there but not sure...
13. Jerked chickun from Assase Ital- N
14. A Big Big Lunch Special from an Indian cart- Y
15. Soy latte made with Stumptown espresso- N
16. A crappy tofu scramble- Y
17. Cornmeal pizza from Dovi Vive.- N
18. Weeping Tiger sandwich from Bye & Bye- Y- tried the husband's
19. Bye & Bye or Floor Punch from Bye & Bye- Y
20. A Bowl meal from a cart- N
21. vegan nutella from freddy's hazelnuts- N
22. soy curls in bulk from food fight or proper eats- N
23. buffalo wings from Vita- N
24. the weekday vegan pancakes from Laurelthirst- N
25. Maple vegan sausage waffle from flavourspot- N
26. Drunken noodles with pepper steak from Thai Food Cafe- N
27. Macnocheeto from Homegrown Smoker- N
28. Veggie platter from an Ethiopian restaurant- N
29. Blackberries picked from a public place- Y
30. Baba Ganouj from Ya Hala- N
31. Coconut Mashed Yams from Papa G’s- Y
32. Butternut Squash Wontons from Hungry Tiger Too-N
33. Vegan slice from Bella Faccia- Y
34. Apple pie from Whiffies- N
35. Chili dog from Zach’s Shack- Y
36. Vegan poutine from Potato Champion- N
37. Missionary Chocolate Truffle- N
38. Apron Activists 4-Course Dinner- N
39. Hot Wok at New Seasons- N
40. Che Guevara Burrito from Laughing Planet- Maybe...
41. Bryan’s Bowl from Por Que No?- N- always get the salad made vegan
42. Pad Thai from Pad Thai Kitchen- N
43. Cupcake from a stand at Last Thursday- N
44. The Giant Pancake at Hungry Tiger Too- Y
45. TLP from Red & Black Cafe- Y
46. Cornmeal tempeh plate from Proper Eats- N
47. Tofu Po Boy at Palm State Gumbo- N
48. Maple Walnut Scone from Back to Eden- N
49. Vegan Mezza platter from a Lebanese restaurant- Y
50. Crispy eggplant from Fujin- N
51. Lemongrass Tofu Sticks from Van Hanh- N
52. Tofu Salad Bun at Pho PDX- N
53. Cocktail made with local liquor- N
54. Biscuits and Gravy from Paradox- Y
55. Smoky soy curls from Homegrown Smoker- N
56. Field Roast sausage- Y
57. Secret Aardvark Hot Sauce- Y
58. Toddbot's Triangles- N
59. Local microbrew- Y
60. Hot Lips soda- Y
61. Herb Crusted Tofu with Mushroom Marsala from The Farm Cafe- Y
62. had a picnic in Laurelhurst Park- N
63. burrito from Shelley's Honkin Huge Burritos- N
64. Eggplant tibs from Bete Lukas- N
65. Tator Tots before noon or after midnight- N
66. Lone Ranger from Chaos Cafe- N
67. Sunday brunch at Sweetpea!- N
68. Tofu at a BBQ place (for example Derby Mustard Sauce Tofu at Russel Street BBQ)- N
69. Mint Fava Falafel at Nightlight Lounge- N
70. An unexciting hummus plate at a bar.- N
71. Vegan meatball sub from Aalto Lounge- N
72. Koi Fusion spicy tofu tacos- N
73. Veggie dog from the Vegi dog stand- Y
74. Sesame chicken from a vegetarian chinese restaurant- N
75. Bagel with Bacun Scallion cream cheese from Sweetpea -N
76. Vegan savoury crepe- N
77. Veggie kibbeh- Maybe
78. Club Vegan at Backspace- N
79. ice cream sundae from Back to Eden- N
80. Raw fudge from Blossoming Lotus- Y!!
81. Tempeh reuben- N
82. Pause vegan burger- N
83. vegan ribs- Y
84. something baked with local marionberries- Y
85. Veggie bento box- Y
86. Dave's Killer Bread- Y
87. Higher Taste Buzzitos- N
88. Thai food that the server swears is vegan, but you taste fish sauce.-Y
89. Elephant ear from the Saturday Market-N
90. Dovetail sticky bun- N
91. savoury pie from Nicholas restaurant- N
92. Salad rolls from the Just Thai cart- N
93. Vegan torta from Gorditos II- N
94. Nutritional yeast on your popcorn at a movie theater- N, at home on raw "popcorn", yes
95. Vegan grilled cheese from The Grilled Cheese Grill- N
96. Pasilla burrito from El Nutri- N
97. Something from the vegetarian menu at Andina- Y and it was very good!
98. Vegan Steak and Cheese from D.C. Vegetarian- N
99. Dragon Noodles at Red & Black Cafe - N
100. Falafel from Wolf & Bears- N
The Renegade Health Show's*** top ten healthiest cities to live in in the US. (And my opinions/experiences).
10. Seattle
I grew up just south of Seattle, worked there and spent quite a bit of time as a teenager there. Healthy, maybe but in my experience not the friendliest of people. It's gray a lot and I think that it wears on the people.
9. Manhattan
Choices abound in NYC. Love all the choices and experiences you can have here. Everything in the world is a walk away and I think that's what makes this city magical and possible to have a spot on this list. The parks, the markets, the restaurants, the culture...
8. San Diego
I really like SD, the ocean, the open feeling, the warmth. Just north is La Jolla, ahhh I can practically smell that clean ocean air.
7. Portland
After living here for nearly two years I absolutely understand why people love it. But it's just not for me. PDX is more about comfort food then health food. And I'm really into the natural color of foods and not smothering things in brownish-gray vegan gravy and calling it "good for you". I'm totally generalizing, by the way. I want an all vegan raw restaurant here. I think I'd beg Andy to let me open one if we Ever stayed here. Not likely.
6. Sebastopol/Santa Rosa
I love the next three places on this list, all in California and all brimming with life, good food, sunshine and raw restaurants! Sebastopol has a special place in my heart and it's near a Cafe Gratitude!
5. Santa Monica
This is where our son was born and I love love love Santa Monica. Also the first time I had gourmet raw vegan food when Juliano opened Planet Raw we were living there! Farmer's market, sunshine, healthy beach air, hiking in Topanga. Good place.
4. Mill Valley/Fairfax/Marin
So beautiful, green trees, the ocean, good food. Haven't lived here but could for sure.
3. Boulder
Only been to Boulder once and just for the day but with the new Raw Seed company there I can see how it would be wonderful!
2. Austin
My first visit to Austin will be in March 2010. I'm planning on checking out he Whole Foods everyone raves about!
1. Sedona
What a heavenly place. It's like another planet. I was in awe of my surroundings in Sedona. We stayed for just one night and it is magical. Plus I hear there are some raw vegan places now too that weren't there the last time I visited.
I liked their list and wanted to think about each place. I would add cities on Maui and Kauai because of the tropical paradises that they obviously are! How about you? Vox has been so very quiet lately... Where are you all and where have you been?
Much love!
***You can watch the show here: http://renegadehealth.com/blog/2009/10/26/the-top-five-healthiest-cities-in-the-united-states/
Dear Saturn Girl,
Some things you need to remember:
*When I breathe deeply and mediate all answers flow through me. A higher voice speaks to me. Questions are answered calmly and full of love.
*When I practice yoga I feel like a superhero. Breathing and bringing my body into a new pose I feel elated, proud, I feel the love and appreciation for what my body (and letting go of my busy brain) can do in absolute physical form.
*I like remembering my dreams. I like symbolism. I like fantasy and escapism.
*I create how I feel in every moment.
*Being happy for others in their happy moments brings more happiness. It is contagious!
*I am important enough to take good care of. For my son, my husband and the planet.
*I am awake and alive.
*I love to use my hula-hoop.
*I love to dance.
*I love being in the moment with Eliot.
*I love when Andy looks at me.
*I love to run, jump, lift weights, feel the wind and be the wind.
*I love witnessing self-discipline and self-care.
*I love to see people grow, change and love themselves. Creating deeper spaces for the people they love.
*I love reconnecting with familiar faces from my past. I love knowing how they are and seeing photos of their lives and loved ones.
*I love that last week two people I admire so much told me I inspire them. wow. Still taking that in. I need to give that to myself and then gift it to others.
*I think everyone thinks I speak for myself all the time and I really don't think I do. I'm going to truly speak up for myself where it counts. Starting now.
*I love my Vibram five finger shoes. But I like being cute more. I need to where those fab shoes more because they feel so great.
*I want to actively listen. Sit quietly and take in others stories. There is no gift more loving then to really listen.
*Back to meditating. Listen to yourself, it will make you available to others.
*Stop complaining. It's up to me to not get caught up in pooooooooo.
*Jump. Life is life and it's for living.
*Again, back to listening. This time it's to my gut. It's Always right. Hello, Always.
*I want to live a long time and live well. I put that goal in practice everyday.
*I love raw vegan food. I love raw vegan restaurants. I love raw vegan desserts. This is my favorite way to eat.
*I love water.
*I love Hawaii.
*I love New York.
*I love California.
*I am SO grateful. Grateful and lucky and blessed. Endlessly. Infinitely.
*I am very strong, very beautiful, very healthy, very happy.
***To recap- do yoga, eat well, love well, be with people you love, meditate, move your body, share the love.
Love you forever!
Heartshapedsky
P.S. This was a really good exercise that was inspired by Mystic Medusa. From her site: " Between now and the end of October, as Saturn trundles over the last degrees of Virgo, is a great time to write out in as orderly a fashion as one can manage, all the wisdom and lessons gleaned since late 2007. " Try it if you like and let me know if you do!
So many things to miss about California.
SF
Friends
More friends
Friends little sister
Ahhhhh
xoxo
This is a piece of raw vegan cake from Cafe Gratitude. Love love love. I ate a little after dinner and then the rest for breakfast during out recent trip to the bay area. yummmmmmmmm
We saw it last night.
It was good, don't get me wrong, just not what I expected. It was one of those kids movies that is not really great for most kids. Not that it was too scary or anything. Just very complex emotions. It was a lot more emotional and melancholy that I had hoped. Here is my take on it.
I think they wanted us to see what it was like inside the head of a child who has ADHD or a mild form of autism. The internal struggle these children face at all times. They know what they are supposed to do and act, but their body is doing something completely different. They have no control at times. I saw a few of the children I cared for at the daycare in Max, and hoped they see the movie. I hoped the parents saw the movie and saw their child in Max as well.
It was a very sad and moody movie. I was on the brink of tears near the end, then a father had to remove his little girl from the theater because she started sobbing so hard she could hardly catch her breath. I lost it then. I felt so bad for the little girl. It was one of those moments like in Bambi, when it is just so sad. The movie was quite heavy.
I think parents should view this before letting a child view it. Some kids may not be able to handle it. Others may feel a connection with Max and be so grateful to have their own struggles up there on the screen, let them know there is nothing wrong with them, they are just not your everyday average kid, and they are not the only ones.
Visually the movie was absolutely stunning, SO beautiful. The sculptures looked like something Andrew Goldsworthy created, the colors are muted and lovely, the monsters look incredible! But it was a very emotionally driven movie. It left me with a different melancholy feeling than I had when I walked in.
I wanted to love the film so much.
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